My Third Love...

His name was Trithep. He was the same height as mine but his skin was much darker with glasses on. He was a charmer with great smile and he was straight of course and seemed to be a decent lad. We were in the same class at grade 9. There were four class’s table with two seats in each row which I was sitting far right front row with my mate and he was sitting far left in second row with his mate. Regularly, we looked at each other and smiled while we were studying in class. He was sort of like teasing me in a way and didn’t think beyond that, I reckon but I was very happy whenever I saw him throughout that year. It just felt like I had him as a motivation to go to school in order to see him. What a good example of 14yrs of age thinking ;-)

He didn’t talk to me much and I didn’t talk to him much either but we often smiled for each other. How weird was that? Too many times, I wished he would kiss me…hold me…made love with me but that was only my imagination. It was one sided love but I was actually very happy to see him in school and thought of him all the time until he moved to study at other school at grade 10 but I went on studying at Amnuay Silpa School till grade 12.

The Dream...

I went to bed 0500ish after drinking a bottle of red in Swissotel Stamford hotel, Singapore…I slept for 8 hrs and woke up to send crew upline sheet, then came back room to get some more sleep as my wakeup call was 1700 operating Singapore to Melbourne, then paxing to Sydney.

During my 8 hrs sleeping time, I had a dream which I dreamt of my ex ( my Forth Love ) and it was quite a story surprisingly…In my dream, I met him whose name was Narat, somewhere and I could not remember where we firstly met. We talked a lot as we had not seen each other for years, then I remembered we went to eat together and I obviously had a great time for his company and at that moment I felt for him again after nice long conversation we had. Then we went to sort of bar or club together on that day or the day after, I was not sure…I remembered we walked together and stopped at one point where there was no one around, we looked at each other, then we kissed. I still remembered that kiss as I could felt his soft lip on mine and I felt so real, indeed. I felt so vulnerable again but so happy for what happened. We had sex after that and the same old feeling during we were a couple coming to my mind again.

We had a great time together and unfortunately I found out that he already had a wife who just gave birth to a boy two months ago. I was speechless but I kept myself together and decided that I had to stop ongoing relationship between me and him. I did care about his wife and a baby and I didn’t want to be an asshole to cause all problem. One day, I talked to him about this and of course I did cry a lot ( I woke up at one moment and I felt I was crying and then I went on sleeping again;-)but he wanted to go on with me. I shouted at him to go and that was too loud, i reckon.

And that was it...After i woke up to get ready for the flight, i felt a bit depressed and did miss him right a way and honestly i dont like this feeling at all. I haven't seen him for like 10 years now, then i did check on facebook searching his name but unfortunately his name is not in there. All my previous love, he has been the one that i miss the most. I dont know why but i think i want to see him again and say hi and i am so sure that he's already married as he is a bisexual. Oh Dear ;-)

The Caberet and The Last Day Show...Will I Survive?...

I went to see The Last Day Show…Will I Survive? at Thailand Cultural Center on Saturday night. The first show made me feel so sick already which was Pa Jaew’s lip sync performance of a song named Willkommen from cabaret which is a 1972 American musical film directed by Bob Fosse and starring Liza Minnelli and Joey Grey…Joey Grey is a masterpiece on this movie and everything on his act and performance was absolutely fantastic which I think no one at all could do the same as he did, eventually…When he appeared on movie, there was only 2 sec right then that this movie really got me big big time, I am telling you…He was a Master of Ceremonies in Kit Kat Klub in Berlin, 1929 on this movie and right the beginning of the movie, he sang and acted the song called Willkommen which there was no wonder how great he was and his performance throughout the movie was so uncomparable which no one at all could beat. Cabaret is one of my favorite movie of all time…the talent…the creativity…the choreography…Standing Ovation, indeed…and can u believe this movie was made in 1972!!! Oh my god, I am speechless whenever I mention about this movie, to be honest…Pa Jaew thought wrong and was so daring to do lip sync on this song which his performance was terrible…shit!!!











The second show was even worse and whose show was Khun Kai, channel 3. His lip sync performance was so trashy and unacceptable and at the end of the day he ruined the whole bloody show. When you do lip sync, it must come from your inner but I couldn’t see that from him and it was like he didn’t practice at all…damn it!!!

First, I thought this show really wasted my time after all but when Khun Day appeared on the stage, all that thought had disappeared right away. He was sitting in bed with fake big breast and white clothes wrapped around his body as he just had sex operation (by screenplay) and I am not talking about his obvious fake pink nipple. Hahaha, What a scene really, and that was so hillarious. From the start to the end of the show I couldn’t remember how many times I was laughing out loud, really…There is another one I have to mention here as well whose name is Khun Kaimook who is Khun Day’s buddy act. They both made a joke, mostly kinky (I love it) for each other and to others and got along quite well…Bravo ;-)

And another part which made the show much more funnier was when some of ACDC contestants appeared and introduced themselves from which country they came like Miss Universe’s Pageant Competition which i think it is Gay people's dream…Wicked ;-)




I think Khun Day should do this kind of show every year and I believe its feedback is far beyond great, even crap dancers, screenplay and guests but it was worth for money value which part of revenue would be donated to charity. And the one whom I have to thank you the most was Khun Roen who got free 3 tickets from his friend which our seats were in the center and its price was 1500 baht each.

PS. I met someone who is thai and i must say that was love at first sight, surprisingly indeed...Unfortunately, he came with his BF ;-(

The Curry House Coco Ichibanya...

I had read in some magazine that there is a good Japanese curry restaurant open in Esplanade but I was too lazy to go there but I kept it in my mind one day I would go there for sure. Curry is always one of my favorite foods no matter where it comes from…Thai curry…Japanese curry…Indian curry…UK curry ;-)…I love its spice and ingredient and having curry with fragrant rice is one of the most frequently menu I have been asking for…


Fortunately and luckily, I, Woody and Roen, went to see The Last Day Show “Will I Survive” at Thailand Cultural Center where is opposite Esplanade. It was about time that I must try curry from this restaurant and without asking other two what they wanted to have…How spoiled am I ;p…I was not sure where it was in Esplanade but when I saw “Curry House Coco Ichibanya” on the left right after entering, then I thought it must be this one, even I couldn’t remember its name but some picture was still left in my mind. Courteous staffs were fantastic blending together between Thai and Japanese’s service style and its result like what obviously I saw and felt…I did order beef curry with egg on top and fried chicken and fried prawn balls as a la carte. I must say that was the best Japanese curry I ever had and this curry came in marvelous combination that I can’t imagine what they are. Beef was great and I think it was Thai beef though, not imported from Japan and even in Japan, beef products are imported from USA. I can ask my curry more spicy as there are levels of spice being shown on a page as well.

Two days later, I went to Curry House again in order to have lunch and came back to my apartment and I just ordered the same thing ;-)

Paxing Home...

This was my first time in nine years flying paxing from london to bangkok...Well, this was not my original trip but Annie did ask me to swap and i was so lucky one;-) I didn't ask the reason why and i didn't seem to care, after all;-)...Wow, that was easy flight and i should do that quite often...Keep dreaming, darl ;-)...We four bkk base and other three london base crew were sitting in maindeck business class but another UK base crew was upgraded to first class...Thankfully the flight was not full...So its service and everything went so smoothly and quickly. I had a glass of champagne for pre-takeoff drink but i didnt have any wine at all for my supper because i already drank three quarter of red before pickup time ;-)

After takeoff, i recieved pajamas and male's amennity kit distributed by cabin crew...then i went to the loo to change my business's wardrobe to ready to sleep pajamas as i have always felt more comfortable with any loose wardrobe when i go to bed...I was watching Slumdog Millionaire while i was having Halibut with fragrant rice and vegetables with a kind of a mushroom sauce or something which was quite nice...I didnt have a dessert as i felt i had enough for food. After finished watching SM, then i went to bed right away...felt so sleepy...Skybed was all right for me but i had a bit uncomfortable feeling in a way as my body would slide down a bit and it was like my body was pulled down by gravitation regarding an incline position when fully operated, not a flat bed like first class.

I woke up before breakfast time an hour and Doubt was a choice for killing my time. For breakfast menu, every passenger had been asked to fill in on breaky card by ticking for its choices and everything and must hand to cabin crew before they went to bed and that was the idea comimg from breakfast room service menu in any hotel. So when breaky being served, i didnt need to be asked for any choices anymore as it came with everything i ordering right away on tray. I had fruit salad with yogurt, croissant with strawberry jam & butter and pork sausaged with omelette and mushroom and that was so yummy, indeed.


I had some time left before top of descend, then i watched twilight and that was so stremline movie...Before i was landed i went to thank you CSM and other two cabin crew for taking care of me for this flight as they worked professionally and everything went well...The touchdown was 1535...

My Second Love...

I remember when I was 9 years old studying at grade 5 in lansuan district, I met a guy whose name was Charkrit studying at grade 6…Fortunately I still remember his face with dark tall and handsome, oh yeah tell me about that;-)…I didn’t know what he was thinking about me at all but whenever he saw me, he was always teasing and playing with me and you know what, I felt it was not like boy teasing boy but boy teasing girl instead…No No No, it was not my imagination but it was real…I think I knew I have been gay since I was 5 after holding hand with Mr. Sampan ;-) and I think my gay action has been shown to people that I was gay in a way.


There were only 3 pictures in my mind that I could remember…Firstly, he tried to tickle me on my waist or something when we were on playground at school and I tried to do the same to him. So we would like playing sneak and hide for each other. He was so masculine guy and whenever I touched any part of his body…oi…oi…oi…melt down…melt down;-) and that was one of the lovely moment of my life as I felt like a girl, I mean a real very young girl;-) that a masculine guy like him was playing this to me, oh dear;-)

Secondly, he was saying something to me teasingly about something as usual. I think I am sure he liked me in a way but I didn’t know what way it was but what I was pretty sure that he did care about me, otherwise he wouldn’t do teasing and flirting to me like this at all, to be honest and the vital part was he didn’t say anything bad to me at all like a fag or a sissy or a queen as I could remember (or he did but I couldn’t just remember it…Nope he wouldn’t!!! I think it’s sort of a nice & straight gentleman who was open to gay people in a way and I felt so lucky that he was my gentleman on that moment, indeed.

Thirdly, when I was studying mathematics in a classroom…so bloody boring and not such a gay thing at all, to be honest;-)…I just thought about him and wondered what he was doing now and that was it…

Oh, Charkrit…I always miss you…

My First Love...

The first time I felt for a guy right back when I was 7 years old…dah dah dah;-)… I couldn’t believe myself that I could still remember his name whom he was Mr. Sampan ;-) I thought he was so cute at that time, oh yeah and hey, do believe in my taste, darl ;-)…He wasn’t born in Langsuan district but moved here for a year, I think because his dad was a public servant, so his family had been moving from place to place…I couldn’t remember everything about him but there were only two incidents and moments that I could…and so thankful to my memory, indeed…

















Firstly and the utmost important moment I could remember that we were holding hands for each other to go to canteen where it was quite far from our classroom and what I could remember that my heart was so bloody beating out loud (but inside quietly and unstably ;-) and I felt sooooo shy, indeed but at the end of the day I could manage myself holding his hand…masi;-)…I wasn’t quite sure how I could manage myself getting to canteen with all my nerve and fantastic feeling finally, oh dear!!!... I don’t think he did think anything at all ( or he might???) only friendship but for my sake, I did obviously with all my tiny heart beating up and down and round and about unfortunately;-)…Was it typical that two very cute 7 years old boys holding hand for each other ;-p???...That was the first time at all in my life that I bloody felt melt down for a guy. Thanks heaps to myself that picture has still been in my mind...

Secondly, I could remember that I went to see him at his house and that was it…Nothing was going on but there was only one picture in my mind that I was biking in front of his house and that was all…

I am wondering how he has been now…my first love;-)

Memoirs of My childhood Love...